


Somewhere to Stay

by dickgrysvn



Category: Magnum P.I. (TV 2018)
Genre: AU Tag, Angst, Bromance, Descriptions of Blood, Episode: s01e11 Nowhere to Hide, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Found Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, SO MUCH ANGST!, Tag to 1x11, also the tags for this show are a mess, cause thats my jam, i couldn’t stop writing her, juliet is my new jack, so idk which ones to use, theres so much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 03:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17800541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickgrysvn/pseuds/dickgrysvn
Summary: Later, when she looks back on it, Juliet Higgins is going to agonize over every single moment leading up to that one horrifying second, and pick apart each little thing she could’ve done to avoid it. But the truth of the matter is, that’s going to do her no good in the end. And it doesn’t even matter right now. Because right now, the only thing that matters is that Thomas Magnum is bleeding out onto Robin Masters’ floor, and it’s entirely her fault.——————What if Higgins had noticed it was Thomas much too late??{AU tag to 1x11, Nowhere to Hide}





	Somewhere to Stay

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first piece for this fandom, and of course it’s soooo long and soooo angsty. It’s shippy, so if you don’t like that, I’m sorry. But I ship the heck outta Higgins x Magnum. There’s a tiny bit of my crack ship of Higgins x Rick bleeding in here too?? Idk. Mostly it’s just found family feels. There’s a pretty icky description of blood, so just be warned. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and I have many more Magnum fics planned!!

 Juliet feels an immense feeling of cold satisfaction when her foot connects solidly with the other woman’s face. She’s not one to relish in causing pain, but in this instance she thinks she’s allowed to enjoy it just a little bit. She stands there panting, trying to steady her breathing, when suddenly she hears someone coming down the hall into the study. In her state of heightened adrenaline, she acts instantly, without thinking. Her eyes land on the ornate letter opener sitting near the desk, and she snags it quickly before tucking herself tight up against the edge of the wall. She holds her breath, steeling herself for the moment the next assailant comes around the corner. _Ready… 3...2...1…_ She lunges around the corner blindly, swinging the blunt knife in her hand forward and down with all her strength. She’s rewarded with a solid _thunk_ as the makeshift knife finds its mark. There’s a strangled yell, which quickly melts into a gurgling gasp as the letter opener sinks home. Juliet lets go, ready to keep fighting should she still need to, but the sight that she registers once she takes a tiny step back will haunt her for the rest of her life. Thomas Magnum stands in front of her, wide-eyed and pale, with her letter opener protruding from just above his collar bone. It’s horrible and ghastly and so _unreal_ it makes her freeze. Thomas wheezes sharply, swaying on his feet as he tilts his head down slowly, trying to see the extent of the damage. He looks back up at her slowly, and Juliet can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t _think_ , because _she did this_. He stares at her, eyes wide and terrified and full of pain, and he opens his mouth slowly.

 “Juliet…” The sound of his hoarse, wheezing, whisper cuts through the cement in her brain, and Juliet is suddenly jolted back into action. “ _Oh God_ ,” she breathes, lurching forward just as Thomas’ eyes roll back and he goes limp, and she catches him clumsily. He’s nothing but dead weight, nearly bowling her over backwards, and for a moment Juliet feels her very soul fill with ice. _Oh please, please don’t be dead_. _Not like this_. And then he screams, and it’s almost as horrifying as the thought of him dead in her arms. It’s gasping and raw and so full of pain, and it chills her to the core. But it means he’s still alive, and for now that’s enough. She lowers him to the floor as carefully as she can, wincing and muttering apologies when he whimpers in pain. “Thomas, I’m sorry, I’m _so sorry_ , it’s going to be alright, do you hear me?” She presses her hands tight around the knife, and Magnum screams again, but there’s no energy behind it. It sounds like every bit of strength has been drained from him, like he’s running on fumes. It terrifies her, and focuses her. “Kumu, call TC. We don’t have time to wait for the paramedics,” she yells behind her, and she hears Kumu scrambling for a phone. She focuses all her attention on Thomas. “Thomas, listen to me, can you hear me?” She taps a bloody finger against his cheek, and he groans feebly, eyes flickering half open to stare at her. His pupils are uneven, and his eyes are glazed and unfocused and Juliet wants to cry. She blinks away the tears, shaking her head sharply. _I will not let him die_ , she promises herself. And then— “I will not let you die, Thomas. I promise, do you understand?” Thomas closes his eyes again, and Juliet feels like screaming. “No no, please stay with me Thomas,” she begs. Her voice is breaking, and she hates it, but she hates this even more. Thomas doesn’t deserve this. No one does. But Thomas… he’s a good man, and he doesn’t deserve to be bleeding out on the floor of a billionaire’s home because she made a reckless, terrible mistake. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, pressing tighter against the wound. She feels something touch her shoulder, and she nearly jumps in surprise. She glances over to see Kumu handing her a towel, and she smiles briefly in thanks as she takes it. She bundles it around the handle and presses, hard, and Thomas keens weakly against the pressure. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Thomas, just stay with me. It’s going to be fine, TC is on the way. I’m sorry.” She knows she’s rambling, and it scares her, but she can’t control it right now. All she can focus on is the man in front of her, the man who slowly, and yet so quickly, wormed his way infuriatingly into her everyday life, and into her heart. She can’t lose him like this, not now, not because of _her_. She sniffs loudly, trying to keep the tears out of her eyes, and Thomas’ eyes flicker open again.

 “‘S not y’re… fault…” he mumbles slowly, and Juliet chokes out a mix between a sob and a laugh.

 “I stabbed you, Magnum, how is that not my fault?” It’s irrational, to be bickering with him now, but deep down she knows that’s exactly what he wants her to do. Thomas has always baited her, played the fool, acted dumb in front of her, for her own benefit. Somehow, instantly, he knew she wouldn’t help him if he asked her for it normally. Somehow, he recognized that she was bored, and missing her former life of excitement, and he found a way to let her in without stepping on her pride and ego. And now, he’s _dying_ and he’s pushing her buttons because he knows it will help her relax. _You’re too kind for this cruel world, Thomas Magnum._ So she plays along, even though it feels so wrong. Sure enough, the corner of his mouth quirks up in a tiny smile, and Juliet smiles through her tears.

 “It w’s tot’lly... bad’ss,” he mumbles again, and Juliet scoffs. This time, he smiles for real, meeting her eyes steadily for the first time in minutes. “‘S okay,” he breathes softly, and then his eyes slide closed again, and Juliet panics.

 “No! Damn it, Thomas, stay with me! Please!” She presses harder against the towel, hoping to elicit a reaction, but there’s nothing. Thomas is unresponsive, and it takes much longer than Juliet would like to find his pulse. When she does find it, it’s weak and thready and Juliet knows he’s fading fast. They need to get him to a hospital _now_ , or he’s not going to make it. Kumu is suddenly at her shoulder again, a gentle weight pressing down to ground her and steady her.

 “TC is already here, he was already in the air. He’ll be here in a minute,” she says softly, but Juliet can hear the tightness in her voice, and the unspoken question. _Does he even have a minute?!_ Juliet prays he does, because it’s all she can do as she sits there, Thomas’ blood pouring through her fingers, her heart in her throat.

 

 It feels like ages before she hears the sound of the helicopter landing, but logically she knows it’s only been seconds. She also knows they don’t have time to wait for TC to help. Thomas is paler than anyone has any right to be in Hawaii, and he’s barely breathing beneath Juliet’s hands. Somehow, Kumu seems to know exactly what she’s thinking. She’s at Thomas’ feet in seconds, and together they lift him as best they can, Juliet trying to keep as much pressure as she can. And then it’s a mad rush through the hall, and Juliet nearly trips backwards over the edge of a rug. Her heart leaps into her throat at the close call, knowing if she drops Thomas now, she’s spelling his death. But she stays on her feet, and TC meets them at the door. Only it’s not TC, it’s Rick. Juliet doesn’t have time to question it. His sharp cry of shock, voice breaking when he calls Thomas’ name, hits Juliet like a bullet and she wants to cry. _This isn’t right_. But she can’t cry, she can’t break, because this is her fault and Thomas needs her. Rick takes over for Kumu, telling her they've called the hospital, and TC is waiting in the chopper to liftoff the second they reach it.

 

 It’s a tense thirty seconds getting him inside. Juliet has to take her hands off the wound to get inside, and it’s precious seconds before she’s able to clamp them back right over the towel. Thomas is still unresponsive when Rick gets in next to her, no matter how hard she pushes. TC reaches back and slides a headset on her head, and Juliet nods gratefully. Seconds later, they’re lifting off, and TC’s voice comes over the headset.

  _“What the hell happened?!”_ Juliet wishes he’d asked anything but.

 “I didn’t-I didn’t know it was him, it was all too fast and–”

  _“You’re telling me you_ stabbed _him??”_ Juliet chokes out a sob. _“Nevermind, that doesn’t matter right now. How is he? How’s our boy doing?”_ Juliet doesn’t have an answer. He could be dead in her arms, for all she knows. She tries to find a pulse, but if it’s there it’s so weak she can’t locate it.

 “I don’t know, I can’t find a pulse!” Rick startles next to her, and his hand flies out for Thomas’ wrist. Juliet digs her fingers hard against Thomas’ throat, praying for even the tiniest of flutters. She’s half a second from screaming in despair when she feels it. The tiniest, faintest stutter of a pulse against Magnum’s throat, and she could cry from the relief. “He’s still alive, but only just. How far out are we?”

 

 _“Two minutes. Just keep him alive, Higgins, ya hear me?”_ Juliet doesn’t have to be told twice. She presses her hands down even tighter, nearly gasping when it finally elicits a minute flinch from Thomas. _Oh thank God_ . Rick is right beside her, handing her another cloth, and Juliet pushes that around the handle as well. She chances a glance at the other man, and Rick is stiff and silent, eyes wide and staring, fingers glued to the pulse point around Thomas’ wrist. It’s horrifying, knowing how talkative the other man usually is, and Juliet tears her eyes away, turning back to Thomas. _Stay with me._

 

 Exactly two minutes later, they’re touching down at the hospital. Instantly, there’s a swarm of doctors and nurses around them, taking over from Juliet and pulling Thomas from her arms. She feels like a part of her is being taken, and she tries, irrationally, to keep ahold of him until TC snags her around the waist. She fights him for a beat, before she realizes who it is. Every ounce of fight drains out of her, and she nearly collapses to the pavement, TC keeping her upright.

 “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. Thomas is strong. He’ll be okay,” he murmurs softly, and Juliet’s breath hitches. She’s suddenly aware that TC has done this before, he’s been in this same scenario, and she has a newfound appreciation for this man. She straightens slowly, and TC gently releases his hold on her. “Come on, let’s get to a waiting room, get you cleaned up. You too, Rick.” She notes his use of Rick instead of Orville, glancing over at the man next to her. His hands are clenched tight at his sides, tiny smudges of red painting the fingers she can still see. She watches Rick move closer to TC’s side, almost subconsciously, before looking down at herself and starting in surprise. She’s drenched in Thomas’ blood, and if she didn’t have such a strong stomach she would’ve thrown up right then and there. Even still, she feels a bit sick, and she nods quickly before following the two into the hospital.

 

 She trails behind them slightly, only half aware of the conversation going on in front of her. She can’t hear any words, but she can hear Rick’s tone of voice, and she winces. She knows Rick and Thomas are closer, maybe not in a way that any of them mean, or even realize, but she knows they have a different relationship than Thomas and TC. Just like Rick and TC have a different relationship than they do with Thomas. They have their own unique experiences they’ve shared, and Juliet understands that. One thing they share, however, is their extreme protectiveness of Magnum. And right now, Rick’s voice is angry and panicked and scared, and it hits Juliet hard. TC glances back at her briefly before starting to answer, and she tunes him out, not wanting to hear the panic and anger in his voice, either. She knows, more than anyone, just how much she deserves it.

  


 She sinks into the nearest chair when they reach the waiting room, and TC sits down next to her, Rick heading further down the hall to the bathroom. She can’t look at him, because _this is her fault_ , so she keeps her eyes trained on her hands twisted in knots on her lap. They’re stained red, from her fingertips to her elbows, Thomas Magnum’s very life spilled over them. She should clean them, she knows, but she feels like it’s her punishment, to stare at her hands and be reminded of this terrible mistake. She hears TC call her name, and she tries to ignore him, because she knows what he’s trying to tell her. But after the fourth time, she feels a hand on her shoulder, and it’s so unexpectedly _gentle_ that she can’t help but look up. She starts slightly to see Rick crouching next to her, hand gently resting on her shoulder. He’s watching her carefully, something in his eyes that Juliet didn’t expect, and can’t quite place. There’s no anger or blame, just sorrow and concern, and she realizes sharply that some of that is for _her._ A quick glance at TC tells her he feels about the same, the look in his eyes almost a mirror of Rick’s. And then she truly registers that Rick’s hands are clean, and he’s wearing a scrub shirt. She blinks in surprise, marveling at the speed in which Rick washed and changed. She sits up quickly, pulling up just short as she goes to run her hand over her face. She falters, for just a second, before dropping her hands back to her lap and collecting the tiny shreds left of her composure.

 “How-how are you-” She’s trying to ask how Rick is back already, but it doesn’t quite translate. But Rick smiles softly, and it’s so full of unwarranted worry and sympathy that it makes her heart ache.

 “TC says you’ve been sitting here unresponsive for almost half an hour,” he says gently, and she inhales sharply. _Surely not!_ But Rick’s not finished. “He’s been calling your name for almost half that.” Juliet just stares at him, uncomprehending. Had she really been so far gone she’d tuned him out for the last 15 minutes? She supposed she must’ve. There’s no other explanation. She nearly forgets herself again, her stained hand flinching in a desire to rub the exhaustion and confusion from her face. It doesn’t go unnoticed. A wave of pure devastation flashes over Rick’s face as he looks at her hands, and Juliet feels a sudden, violent urge to hide them. _His best friend’s blood is on my hands. His brother. Dear God, let him live, please._ And then Rick is folding her hands in his, and she can’t _breathe_. He holds them tight, waiting for her to meet his eyes. When she does, tentatively, his eyes soften. “Let’s go get you cleaned up, Jules,” he says, and the lack of his usual joking term for her, or even just her last name, is more effective than anything else. Gently Rick pulls her to her feet, and TC slips a hand under her elbow to steady her. She doesn’t even realize how unsteady she feels until she’s suddenly only upright because of his grip on her arm. Briefly, she remembers she’s just been in a fairly brutal fight. Apparently, TC remembers too.

 “Rick, she needs to be checked out by a doctor,” he states quietly, and Juliet’s eyes widen. She whips her head around to answer him, to tell him she’s fine, but the sudden movement sends a spike of pain through her skull. “Don’t even think about arguing, Higgy, I saw you wince just now. And you can barely stay on your feet,” he adds, not unkindly, and Juliet realizes she’s still leaning all her weight into his grip. She quickly gathers her strength and stands carefully, mindful of the pounding in her head and the pull on her ribs that’s just now made its presence known. Sighing, she caves. Rick must simply read her body language, because without even waiting for an answer he’s dragging her carefully down the hallway to the nearest bathroom. He shoves her gently towards the door, a half smile on his face.

 “Go ahead, I’ll be right here.” He must see she’s about to protest, that she’s not a child in need of coddling, because he holds up a hand quickly. “Nope. I’m not letting you get out of a checkup, Jules. I’m staying right here,” he says firmly, and Juliet again notes the use of her first name; a proper nickname even. Rick has only ever called her Higgins on a handful of occasions, usually opting to call her Higgie in an annoying- but endearing- attempt to joke with her. Suddenly, her mind flashes back to Thomas’ use of her first name, the sound of it tainted by the breathless desperation and confusion in his voice. She nearly buckles where she stands, and Rick grabs her by the shoulders instinctively. She hisses sharply as his hand squeezes her left shoulder a bit too tightly, and his face flashes with a dark look she once again can’t place. “Whoa, Jules. Ya know what, forget washing, I’m taking you straight to a doctor.” Rick doesn’t even wait for a protest, grabbing her bicep gently and guiding her back towards the waiting room. Not that Juliet would have given him one. She’s suddenly so lightheaded she can barely stand, and her shoulder and ribs ache painfully. She follows him shakily, and he leads her right up to the nurse station. At some point between the hallway and now, TC joined them, because he’s now standing on her other side, hand steady and gentle around her waist. If it weren’t for the two of them, she’s not sure she would still be standing.

 

 She doesn’t hear what they say, and she’s only half-aware when they start moving, Rick and TC carefully guiding her in the right direction. It isn’t until she feels Rick and TC let her go that she recognizes her surroundings, the lack of contact leaving her cold and almost empty. It startles her, this feeling, and she tries to push it aside by taking stock of her surroundings. She’s been moved to an exam room, settled on the edge of the bed while a nurse prepares a pressure cuff. Juliet’s eyes find Rick and TC standing off to the side, the two friends, _brothers_ , standing so close their shoulders are nearly touching. She instantly places the need for physical comfort they’re both portraying, recognizing the same need in herself the moment they let go. She can only imagine, with Thomas’ track record, that this isn’t the first time they’ve been in this situation, leaning on each other for comfort while their brother fights for his life in an unseen room. She saw his scars earlier that day, the horrifying burn scar she recognized as a crude cauterization, the jagged scar on his left shoulder that told of a wound treated badly. It had shocked her, when he’d taken off his shirt and she’d seen those scars. She knew he’d been a SEAL, and a POW, knew he’d been less than a model prisoner, but to see those scars for herself… it made it all real, and she saw Thomas Magnum in an entirely new light.

 

 She’s pulled from her reverie by the nurse speaking, and Juliet startles as the woman pulls off the pressure cuff. She hadn’t even realized she’d put it on to begin with, she’d been so lost in her thoughts.

 “I’m sorry, what?” She blinks quickly, trying to recall what the nurse said, but it’s nothing but a blank. The woman smiles softly, and repeats herself.

 “That’s alright, love, I just need you to lift your shirt for me,” she says, and when Juliet’s eyes instinctively flick over to where Rick and TC are standing, the nurse chuckles. The space is empty, and Juliet squints in confusion. “Oh, they left the instant I asked you that the first time,” the nurse supplies readily, and Juliet’s eyebrows raise slightly. She immediately regrets it, wincing at the pull on the butterfly bandage that’s miraculously appeared on her temple. _When did…_ “Right before I took the pressure cuff off.” Juliet isn’t even surprised that the short, portly woman seemed to read her mind. “Not only are you quite obviously distracted with concern, but you’ve got a mild concussion as well. So you’re lack of focus is to be expected,” she explains kindly, and Juliet is only half-surprised by the news of a concussion. “Now, your shirt, dear, I need to check your ribs.” This time, Juliet _is_ surprised.

 “How did you know…”

 “Your friends were quite adamant that they should be checked,” the small woman says patiently, and Juliet is once again stunned at the way Rick and TC seem so concerned with her wellbeing. The fact that they’d even stayed as long as they had, when Thomas was still in such danger, the danger _she_ put him in, confuses her and fills her with a such warmth she feels like she’s just been wrapped in a blanket. Juliet pulls her attention back to the present and wordlessly lifts the hem of her shirt, hissing sharply at the movement. The nurse purses her lips, shaking her head at the the mottled purple bruises painting her side. She begins to probe them, gently but still painfully, and Juliet holds her breath as she pokes and prods, feeling for breaks. After what seems like hours and yet seconds, she steps back, indicating for Juliet to lower her shirt. Oh “Well, nothing is broken, but they’re bruised fairly badly, so I’m going to give you some pain meds and instructions to take it very easy.” Juliet nods, using her hands to shove herself up off the bed. She barely puts any pressure before her shoulder screams in protest, and she can’t help the cry that escapes her as she collapses back onto the bed. The nurse is at her side immediately, somehow knowing the problem without even asking.

 “Oh dear, you’ve definitely dislocated it. Let’s get you taken care of, Miss Higgins.” Juliet tries to protest, but she’s too tired and dazed to put too much effort into it, and she’s easily ignored. So she zones out, tuning out the rest of the activity around her. Belatedly she wonders if they’ve given her something, because she only briefly feels the pain of her shoulder being reset. And then before she even realizes it, she’s being given a sling, a clean scrub shirt, some pills, and instructions for rest and relaxation. She heads straight for the bathroom as soon as she’s released, itching to clean the blood from her arms and hands. It’s difficult, with the injured shoulder, and it takes her much too long to put the sling back on, but she doesn’t dare leave it off. Not when she’s still in the hospital. So she puts it back, and heads back to the waiting room.

 

 

 

 When she finds the others again, they’re slumped uncomfortably into the chairs, side by side, Rick listing against TC’s shoulder. Her ‘friends’, the nurse had called them. She supposes, just maybe, that they are her friends, and that idea is further reinforced when Rick catches sight of her and shoots to his feet, TC following suit.

 “Jules, thank goodness. We were just about to come check on you, it’s been over an hour and we were worried,” Rick breathes quickly, eyes studiously taking in the addition of the sling. Juliet doesn’t know how to respond. _It’s been an hour? They were_ worried _?_ Well, Rick was worried. Juliet hasn’t quite been able to read TC, even before, but he _had_ jumped up to help her.

 “How’re the ribs,” the bigger man asks quietly, and Juliet supposed that answers her question.

 “Um, they’re well, all things considered. Nothing broken, at least,” she says slowly, startled at the slur and unsteadiness in her voice. TC moves suddenly, taking her good elbow and steering her into a chair. She considers protesting, but thinks better of it, sinking into the chair. She doesn’t realize how tired she still is until she sits, and she lets her head rest on the back of the chair. It’s silent for a moment, but it’s stifling, and Juliet quickly continues. “But, um… I do have a mild concussion, and they had to reset my shoulder,” she finishes, eyes half-closed, and she almost misses the way Rick’s eyes widen slightly. Juliet knows what he’s about to say when he opens his mouth, and she quickly cuts him off. “Rick, please, you did nothing wrong,” she almost whispers, and the fact that she’s cutting off an apology from _him_ when she’s the one who should be begging them to forgive _her_ breaks the dam of her emotions. She closes her eyes, not trusting herself to look at either them.

 “Juliet.” It’s TC’s voice, from her right, and she can’t look at him. She can’t. She feels the phantom itch of blood drying on her arms, and she wants to run back to the bathroom and scrub them for hours. And then TC wraps her twitching hand in his and squeezes gently. She opens her eyes then, and TC is smiling sadly at her, eyes glistening suspiciously. There’s a soft pressure on her knee, and she glances to the left to see Rick with an identical expression, hand rating comfortingly on her knee, and she can’t fight back the tears anymore. She lets a couple fall, and TC looks stunned. “Higgins, I don’t know what happened, by we don’t blame you. You know Thomas wouldn’t blame you, either,” he says firmly, and she remembers Thomas’ last words to her. _It’s okay_. She nearly chokes out a sob, and TC looks like he’s going to break. “Jules?”

 “I...I got the drop on her, and knocked her out, and then I-I heard someone coming. I broke the ties on my hands and-” She pauses, trying to regain her composure. The pressure on her hand and knee increase reflexively. “I grabbed the closest wea-” She breaks off again. She can’t call it a weapon, she just can’t. “I grabbed the letter opener and waited for them to round the corner. I didn’t-I didn’t know it was Thomas until it was too late,” she finishes, voice no more than a whisper. A strangled cry escapes Rick’s throat as she finishes, and Juliet feels like puking, remembering the shocked and agonized look on Thomas’ face when the letter opener sank home. The breathless way he said her name, the way he went limp in her arms… She can’t take it anymore, and she suddenly gets angry, at herself, at Thomas for making her care so damn much, at Rick and TC for not being angry at her. “How can you both be so calm? This is Thomas, your brother, your best friend, _my_ friend, and I-I’ve as good as killed him!” She knows she’s being unfair, but it’s either this or hide in a corner and cry, and she can’t let herself break that way. “I’m the one with his blood on my hands! I’m the reason he’s been back there for hours without any update, I’m the reason he…” She trails off as she sees the tears streaming down Rick’s face, the tick in TC’s jaw from being clenched way too tight. Rick’s hand has tightened into the fabric of her pants, knuckles white as he twists his fingers into the soft material. TC’s grip on her hand is so tight her fingers are nearly numb. All her anger drains out of her, and she feels terrible for blowing up, for saying the things she did. If this is painful for her, it’s ten times worse for the men who have bled and cried with him for all these years. She swallows tightly, trying to control her emotions. “I’m sorry, I-”

 “It’s okay, Higgy,” Rick chokes out, and the nickname makes her smile, just a fraction. “We get it. Trust me, it’s never gets any easier, having to stand by when he gets hurt. But he’s a fighter, Jules, he is, and you know that too, I know you do. And I know you know he doesn’t blame you. He would tell you himself if-if he could.” Here Juliet really does smile.

 “He did,” she whispers. “He told me-he told me it wasn’t my fault. And that it was- That it was ‘totally badass’,” she finishes, smiling, and TC snorts.

 “Of course he did,” he mutters, and Juliet chuckles softly. TC relaxes his grip on her hand, but he doesn’t let go, and Rick slowly untangles his fingers from the fabric on her knee. TC raises his eyebrows slightly, taking in the hopeless wrinkle in her pants, and Rick has the decency to look mildly chastised. Juliet just smiles again, suddenly grateful for the two men at her side. All three of them care for Thomas, in their own varying ways, and she’s lucky to have the comfort of two men who know him best. They sit in a much more comfortable silence than before, and Juliet lets her head fall back against the headrest. Rick leans back next to her, and she feels the sharp loss of his hand on her knee. As if he read her mind, he bumps her knee with his, keeping them flush together, the slight contact sending warmth and assurance through her. He starts bouncing his knee softly when she almost dozes off, TC squeezing her hand sharper. She jolts awake, belatedly realizing what they’re doing. She’s not even sure they realize it, I timcts from years of watching over Thomas with his terrible self-preservation skills kicking in as they both keep her from falling asleep with her concussion. They both have their eyes closed, and she would shake her head in amusement and disbelief if she didn’t have said concussion. She leans back again, not sleeping but resting, and she lets herself draw comfort and hope from her friends.

  
  


 It’s almost two agonizing hours later when a doctor finally approaches them. Rick is asleep, head almost resting on Juliet’s shoulder, as if even in sleep he was aware of her injury. TC calls his name sharply, and he shoots upright, eyes wide and confused. He catches sight of the man walking towards them, and he suddenly alert, jumping from his seat. Juliet and TC join him, taking a few steps forward in an attempt to meet the doctor sooner. He looks exhausted, and it sends a thrill of terror through Juliet’s spine.

 “Are you here with Thomas Magnum?” He asks quickly, before Rick can say what he’d just opened his mouth to say. They all nod, unable to speak, and the doctor nods once. “I’m Dr. Parker, I’ve been the one in charge of Mr. Magnum’s surgery. I won’t lie to you, we nearly lost him, more than once. In fact, he did code, shortly after we got him on the table.” Juliet watches Rick’s knees nearly buckle, and TC grabs his shoulder quickly, his knuckles white. She feels her own legs threaten to betray her, and she can’t breathe. _Oh Thomas…_ The doctor quickly continues, preventing further panic. “ _But_. He’s strong, and he never stopped fighting. He’s stable, but he’s in the ICU, and his condition is still fairly critical. He lost a lot of blood, and it’s going to cause some problems for him. The blade also chipped his collar bone, and that actually made the bleeding worse than it would’ve been. He’s going to be in a lot of pain for the next couple weeks, but he will recover. That I can promise you. Your friend is one hell of a fighter,” he finishes softly, and Rick and TC share a brief look, eyes filled with relief and jaws tense. Juliet thinks of the scars across Magnum’s torso and shoulders, and she knows the doctor is thinking of them, too. They all do.

 “He sure is,” TC says roughly, and Dr. Parker smiles gently.

 “They’re finishing getting him settled now, I’ll have a nurse come get you when you can see him,” he tells them, and they all breathe a collective sigh of relief. Rick and TC shake the doctor’s hand, and Juliet can’t help but feel like she doesn’t belong. She’s not supposed to be a part of this little family, she shouldn’t be included with Rick and TC. And then TC taps her arm, and she looks up to find the doctor smiling gently at her. “You must be Juliet?” It’s phrased as a question, but there’s no question. She nods anyway, and the doctor continues. “He woke up briefly, just half conscious, right after we pulled him out of the anesthesia. He wasn’t really lucid, but he said your name. And that… well, that you’re kinda hot when you’re worried about him.” Juliet inhales sharply, and she senses Rick stiffen next to her. And then TC snorts obnoxiously, and the doctor grins. “I just thought that was something that needed to be relayed,” he says lightly, and Rick grins wickedly.

 “Thanks, Doc, we appreciate it,” he smirks, and the doctor leaves with a chuckle. Rick turns to Juliet, smirk still in place. “Well well well, is that a blush I see, Higgy?” With the good news they’ve just gotten, he’s nearly back to his old self, easily slipping back to the nickname he have her from almost day one. TC snorts again, and Juliet fights the urge to offer him a handkerchief.

 “Are you serious, man? That’s what he says, right out of surgery? Man...” he laughs, shaking his head. “Hey, I guess that answers your question, though,” he adds as an afterthought, and it’s Rick’s turn to snort.

 “Please. Like we both didn’t already know the answer to that question,” he scoffs, and Juliet feels like she’s missing something. TC takes pity on her, deciding to let her in on the apparent secret.

 “Rick always tries to get Thomas to tell us if he thinks you’re hot,” he explains, and Juliet sees the exact moment he realizes just how awkward that sentence was. “Uh… anyway, um, we both… already knew the answer, but we– well we always wanted to make him say it–”

 “Long story short, Thomas thinks you’re sexy as hell, and he’s finally admitted it. Even if he was half dead and drugged to the gills,” Rick cuts him off quickly, shooting TC an exasperated look. “You’ve gotta forgive him, he’s so big it take his brain longer to process things than it should,” he snarks, and TC huffs in protest. Juliet isn’t quite sure what to make of all this new information, but seeing Rick and TC back to their normal, bickering selves is so reassuring she doesn’t really try. She’ll have to unpack all of that later. She can’t deny that Thomas is attractive, but to hear him say that about her… It’s too much after everything today, and she pushes it to the back of her mind. A nurse approaches them just then, and they all quickly forget their previous conversations.

 “If you’ll follow me, I can take you to Mr. Magnum’s room now,” she tells them, and wordlessly they follow her down the hall.

 

 The humor of just moments ago is forgotten as the approach, each of them preparing for the sight that’s about to meet them. But nothing can really prepare them. Thomas is pale and still, left arm in a sling to match Juliet’s, his shoulder wrapped in so many bandages he looks like he’s wearing shoulder pads. Juliet half expects to see a ventilator, but there’s only an oxygen mask strapped over his face, and it fills Juliet with an immense relief. He’s breathing on his own, and that’s more reassuring than anything else. But he’s still so pale, and she’s sure that image will haunt her for the rest of her life. She hangs back, letting Rick and TC have their moment with their brother. But she’s not expecting for Rick to reach out and snag her wrist, pulling her over to the bed.

 “Come on, Jules, don’t be stupid,” he admonishes, and Juliet takes the third empty chair next to Rick, TC across from them. The sit in silence, the sounds of Thomas’ breathing and the heart monitor filling the room with hope. They’re both steady and strong and reassuring, and they all feel true comfort for the first time in hours.

 

 

 Katsumoto comes an hour later, his face somber and grim, Kumu at his side. Juliet feels a flash of guilt for forgetting about the other woman, but when their eyes meet, there’s nothing but quiet relief. Kumu joins her, resting a comforting hand on her good shoulder. Katsumoto looks uncomfortable, like he feels out of place, and Juliet feels a rush of sympathy. But Rick and TC quickly fill him in, and Juliet realizes they must’ve called the both of them previously, because neither look shocked by the news, only relieved. In a rare moment of softness from the normally surly detective, Katsumoto rests a palm briefly on Magnum’s blanket-covered knee. Juliet feels like they’re watching something they shouldn’t, and she shifts her eyes away, but Katsumoto is already turning to leave. With a promise from Rick to keep him updated, he exits, and for a moment there’s nothing but the sounds of Magnum’s breathing and heartbeat. Juliet replays the moment in her mind, marveling at the way Thomas seems to burrow his way into even the grumpiest of hearts. She knows Katsumoto has a strained relationship with the PI, but it seems even he can’t resist the smaller man’s charms. She smiles softly to herself as she realizes that she’s included in that list of grumpy hearts Thomas has melted. In such a short time, Thomas Magnum had come to mean so much more to her than she would ever admit. So she sits, and she stays, even when Kumu leaves for the night. She stays, even when Rick tells her to go home. She stays, when the nurses come to tell them visiting hours are over. She stays, even when Rick and TC reluctantly head home. She stays, and she fights the nurses until they let her, and she holds Thomas’ hand in her good one, and she waits.

  
  


 

 It’s a full 12 hours later before Thomas finally shows signs of waking up. Juliet doesn’t really remember the last 12 hours, but she knows she was woken from a doze by a light tapping on the door, Rick and TC bringing her a thermos of her favorite tea Kumu had brewed for her, as well as a change of clothes. She’d been reluctant to leave, even just to change, but Rick and TC had looked like they wanted a moment alone with their brother, so she’d caved. That was two hours ago, and now she’s sitting in her same chair, thermos empty at her feet, Rick in the chair across from her. TC had just left to get more coffee, but Juliet knows he’s simply pacing the halls, too antsy to sit still anymore. They’d been told Thomas could wake up any time in the next few hours, and it was driving them all mad just sitting and waiting.

 

 He’s only been gone 20 minutes when Juliet feels it. The tiniest twitch of Thomas’ fingers underneath hers, still wrapped around his hand. She gasps and sits up straight in her chair, and across from her, Rick does the same.

 “Higgins?” His eyes are wide, and he’s already pulling out his phone. Juliet tries to keep the hysteria out of her voice. He could just be reacting in his sleep, it doesn’t mean he’s waking up just yet. So she answers slowly, eyes glued to Thomas’ face.

 “Um, his fingers twitched, I felt it,” she says, and Rick inhales sharply. His phone is on his ear in a half second, and Juliet hears TC answer, voice hushed and hopeful, but tinged with trepidation at the reason for Rick’s call.

 “His hand just twitched,” is all Rick says, and Juliet swears she can hear TC’s sigh of relief even from where she sits. She hears his answer saying he’ll be right there, and Rick wordlessly hangs up, never once taking his eyes off Thomas’ face. A movement catches her eye, and she glances away from Thomas just enough to see Rick lean forward and rest a hand on his friend’s knee. Juliet can only imagine that if Thomas wasn’t in a sling, Rick’s fingers would be tangled in his so tightly his knuckles turned white. Much like hers are now. Shew debating offering to switch sides, to let Rick hold his friend’s hand, when Thomas’ fingers twitch again. And this time it’s accompanied by a similar twitch of his brow. Offer to switch sides forgotten, she leans forward in her chair, trying not to overbalance herself without the use of her other arm. She notices Rick’s thumb begin to rub circles into Thomas’ knee as he murmurs softly to him, and she is again struck with just how much these three care about each other. They may not be blood, but they’re family in every way that matters, and Juliet is thankful Thomas has people who care about him so much.

 

 Just when she’s starting to think he must just be dreaming, Thomas’ eyelids flutter slightly. Rick’s other hand immediately flies to Thomas’ hair, and Juliet starts slightly. It’s such an instant, _familiar_ gesture that Juliet realizes it must be something he’s picked up over many similar hospital visits. But when Thomas slowly opens his eyes, deep, beautiful, brown cloudy with confusion and pain, his heart rate skyrockets. But Rick takes it in stride, already smoothing his hand through Magnum’s hair as he murmurs his name softly.

 “Hey, buddy, hey. It’s Rick, Tommy. It’s okay. You’re safe, Thomas. You hear me? You’re safe,” he says, calm and gentle and with the familiarity of someone who has done this one too many times. But Juliet can still hear the barest trace of agony in his voice, and suddenly, it hits her. This isn’t born of any hospital visits. No, this habit, this routine, this is born of 18 months of pain and suffering and horror. This is the product of Thomas being thrown bodily back into a cell, confused and disoriented and in pain. This is Rick trying to reassure his friend that he’s not with the enemy, that he’s not still being tortured. And if TC didn’t chose this exact moment to race through the door, Juliet isn’t entirely certain she wouldn’t have started sobbing where she sat. Even still, when the man skids to a stop beside her, it’s hard to see through the tears clouding her eyes. She blinks them roughly away, forcing herself to answer TC’s panted question.

 “He just woke up, about 30 seconds ago. I don’t think he’s lucid yet,” she says simply, but even as she says it, she hears his heart rate start to slow. Rick is still talking, so softly Juliet can’t hear him anymore. She feels like she should look away, like she’s intruding on something, but she can’t bring herself to. So she sees the way Thomas’ eyes slowly clear, sees the way they flash with recognition.

 “Rick.” Thomas’ voice is dry and cracked, but Juliet thinks it’s the most beautiful sound she’s ever heard. She grins, looking over at TC and finding the same relieved smile on his face. Rick grins brightly at Thomas, chuckling softly. 

 “Yeah bud. It’s me. TC’s here too,” he adds, gesturing with his head across to where TC is standing. Juliet quickly lets go if Thomas’ hand and shoves her chair back, letting the big man get closer to Thomas.

 “Hey, White Knight,” he jokes, and Thomas manages a slight smile. “You gave us a hell of a scare, brother,” he continues, sobering quickly, and Thomas breathes deeply, closing his eyes.

 “‘M sorry,” he slurs softly, and Juliet’s breath hitches in her throat. _He has nothing to apologize for._ As if TC reads her mind, he steps away slightly, gesturing behind him.

 “Don’t apologize to me, man, apologize to Higgy. She hasn’t stopped beatin’ herself up over this for the last 24 hours.” Half-closed brown eyes slide slowly from TC’s face to hers, and she feels an irrational need to run. She swallows hard, watching as Thomas fights to focus through the meds and the pain. And then his eyes widen a fraction, and his heart rate spikes. Rick instinctively brings his hand back up to his hair, but Thomas still lurches forward slightly in the bed. For a split second, Juliet thinks he’s trying to attack her, and then she sees the _worry_ in his eyes. It’s immediately masked by pain, as his shoulder flares when he tries to move. He hisses sharply, and Juliet wishes she could do something to help. She reaches out and snags his hand again without thinking, and Thomas instantly relaxes. He opens his eyes to meet hers, and they look clearer than they have since he first woke up. Juliet sees the worry again, and she _aches._

 “Juliet? Are you okay?” His voice is so rough and dry and weak, and it makes the question that much more ridiculous. She loses it.

 “Are you serious, Magnum? I stabbed you, with a bloody _letter opener_ , and you have the nerve to ask me if I’m alright? You’ve just woken up after nearly 24 hours unconscious! You lost over half your blood volume, you broke–” She chokes off, amending her words. _Forcing_ herself to. “ _I_ broke your collarbone, Magnum. I nearly bled you dry, and I’ve spent the last 24 hours wondering if I’d just ki– killed someone who suddenly, infuriatingly, meant so much to me,” she breaks off quickly, fighting to keep from screaming. This isn’t right. He shouldn’t be worried about her, he should hate her. She certainly does. But Thomas just watches her as she rants, eyes tired and hurting but clear.

 “You done?” He croaks, after a moment of silence. She snorts, somewhere between laughing and sobbing.

 “I suppose I am.”

 “Good. Now it’s my turn.” It’s more words in a sentence than he’s spoken up till now, and Juliet can see how much it tires him. TC wordlessly hands him the small cup of water on the table, and Thomas sips it gratefully. He lets his eyes fall closed for a moment, before dragging them open and starting again. “D’you really think I’d blame you?” Juliet can’t look him in the eyes, and Thomas sighs carefully. “I don’t. One bit. You were… protecting yourself, and Kumu. You did… nothing wrong…” He’s visibly losing consciousness again, and it’s almost endearing, the way his eyes flutter as he fights to keep them open, to keep talking. His hand tightens reflexively against hers, and she responds in kind. He smiles slightly, eyes closing as he loses his fight to keep them open. “Now… you okay?” He asks again, and this time, Juliet smiles through the tears in her eyes.

 “Now that I know you are,” she whispers, and Thomas smiles again, humming slightly.

 “Hmmm. Knew you cared.” The last few letters are so soft, Juliet thinks he’s drifted off again. But she rolls her eyes anyway, even though inside she feels a warmth she hasn’t in years. She’s about to let go of his hand, when it tightens as if he read her mind. “Stay,” he mumbles, and Juliet looks up at Rick sharply. The man is smiling softly at her, and he winks. She snorts again, squeezing Thomas’ hand and lowering herself into the chair TC pulls up for her.

 “Alright,” she tells him. “But only because I want to know what else you say about me in your sleep,” she adds as an afterthought, sure he doesn’t know what she’s referring to. She hears TC snort behind her, and Rick grins devilishly. But Thomas isn’t as far gone as they all think, and apparently wasn’t as far gone as the doctors thought, either.

 “Doc told you?” Rick’s eyes widen comically, and TC nutters a soft _“damn”_ under his breath. She doesn’t know how to respond, so she says nothing, not even sure if he’s still awake. Apparently, he is. “Hmm. Rick, your eyes are gonna get stuck,” he mutters, and Rick’s eyes go even wider, which Juliet didn’t even think was possibly. He yelps, an indignant “ _hey!_ ”, and Thomas smirks softly. “It’s true, by the way,” he finishes, and Juliet is stunned for the hundredth time in 24 hours. 

 “That I’m hot when I’m worried? I’ll take that into consideration,” she snarks, her only resort when she feels threatened or vulnerable. And right now, Thomas Magnum makes her feel like the most vulnerable person in the world. But at her words, Thomas actually manages to open his eyes just a hair. He purses his lips, frowning slightly, and Juliet raises her eyebrows in confusion.

 “That’s it?” Juliet is baffled.

 “Yes? Thomas, are you alright?” She’s a bit worried now, and she can tell the others are too. And then Thomas sighs, so heavily it makes him wince. She bites down on the admonition on her tongue, forcing herself to let him be.

 “That’s not… all I said…” He’s really fading now, and Juliet finds herself leaning forward just a fraction, and Rick and TC do the same. “I said, that you’re hot when you’re _you_.” For a moment, it sounds like utter gibberish. And then the weight of what he’s just said sinks in, and she feels her cheeks heat up, acutely aware that she and Thomas aren’t the only two in the room. Because this isn’t Thomas flirting while high on pain meds, drooling boyishly over her looks. No, this is something deep and real and mature and _terrifying_ , and she’s not sure what to do with it. And she wants to ask him why, what he means, wants to yell at him for saying it in front of Rick and TC. But this time she can tell he’s out. His breathing is soft and even, and his heartbeat is steady and slow. So she scowls, but inside she’s warm and cold and everything in between. She’s not sure what this means, and if Thomas will even remember saying it later, but _she’ll_ remember it, and now it’s something she needs to confront in herself. She looks up, pulling herself from her thoughts, to see TC standing next to Rick, arm on his shoulder, gentle looks on both their faces. They glance at her, almost in perfect synch, and they both give her the softest smiles. They’re not judging, or making fun, or disgusted. They’re reassuring and accepting, and there’s something happy in those smiles, for more than just seeing Thomas awake. There’s a peace and _gratefulness_ in their smiles, and Juliet recognizes the looks of friends who are happy their brother has found his own happiness.

 She turns back to Thomas, and she smiles, looking down at their joined hands. Maybe she doesn’t know what this means, or where this is going to go, but for now, she is content to know she’s truly gained three new friends, the kind who will do everything for each other. She thinks she’s finally found a family, a home here. And maybe, just maybe, this is somewhere she can stay.

 


End file.
